Life Lessons Clerks Taught Me

Clerks - one of my favourite films of all time. It's the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob but surprisingly, they're not what makes the film as incredible as it is... for me, it's the beautiful life lessons taught in a blunt yet amusing way.

You want to know what they are? Watch the film.




Just kidding, I wrote that out for you. You're welcome xoxox

Quit blaming everyone for your problems, if you're not happy then do something about it.

Working in retail has a serious downfall; customers.

It's important to appreciate the little things in a relationship.

Your walk defines you as a person.

Sometimes, you have to learn to let go.

You must appreciate DVD stores whilst they're still here.

And finally, it teaches Kevin Smith is one hell of a director.

Five of the Coolest Movie Characters

We've had the most lovable characters and now it's time for a more interesting category; the coolest characters.

These are the bad boys that you love to hate, hate to love or simply just wish, deep down inside, maybe that you were just a little bit like them. 

Randal Graves

Clerks (1994)

Played by: Jeff Anderson

Occupation: Store Clerk at RST Video

Best quote: "Melodrama coming from you seems about as natural as an oral bowel movement."

Why he deserves to be on the list: He cares for nothing in the world but his best friend Dante. He's not a total bad ass and doesn't go round shooting people or taking drugs, he just has a general disregard for any type of authority or regulations in the most comedic yet simple way possible.

Vincent Vega

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Played by: John Travolta

Occupation: Hit man for mob boss Marsellus Wallace

Best quote: "Oh man! I shot Marvin in the face."

Why he deserves to be on the list: He's a smooth talking, suave, dangerous gangster. There had to be one on the list and Vincent Vega made the cut. He's got it all; the money, the suit, the hair and the amazing dance moves. Love it.

Mickey O'Neil

Snatch (2000)

Played by: Brad Pitt

Occupation: Full time Pikey

Best quote: "Dags, ya like dags?"

Why he deserves to be on the list: If you haven't seen the film Snatch, it's hard to explain without ruining the plot. On the face of it, he's one of the most brutal Irish traveller fighters ever but deep down inside he is... well, an even more brutal Irish traveller fighter. Don't mess with the travellers.

Captain Jack Sparrow

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003)

Played by: Johnny Depp

Occupation: Pirate

Best quote: "When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate; I’m Captain Jack Sparrow."

Why he deserves to be on the list: Every woman wants to be with him, every man wants to be him; even if they don't admit it. Sparrow is a dishonest, drunken, thieving pirate whilst still remaining to have charm, charisma and something oh so appealing to him. Good on ya, Capt'n.

Bryan Mills

Taken (2008)

Played by: Liam Neeson

Occupation: Retired US spy

Best quote (well, it's speech more than quote): "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Why he deserves to be on the list: The speech above is one of the most well known speeches of this generation. Most parents, upon hearing their daughter has been abducted, would call the police. Not this guy, he goes on a rabid, intense, no holds barred man hunt battling drug abuse, human trafficking and brutalities until he finds his child. If that doesn't make you cool, I don't know what does. 

Image sources:
http://www.cinemaobsessed.com/2010/11/quotable-quote-clerks.html
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/john-travolta/images/462422/title/vincent-vega-photo
http://www.verilliance.com/blog/page/2/
http://i-s2-supernatural.tumblr.com
http://nerdbastards.com/2012/10/09/taken-3-possibility-gets-reappraisal-by-money-hungry-execs/

Jay and Silent Bob; The Collection

JAY AND SILENT BOB; THE ORIGINAL DUO OF COMEDY GENIUS

Jay and Silent Bob are two characters played by Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith respectively. They are essentially the epitome of two 90s American stoners. However, they stand out from other typical characters and add something different to the screen; bringing laughter to the audience through Jay's over running mouth, saying everything that comes into his mind, no matter how crude and Silent Bob's... well, silence.

The duo are in several films from the 90s and early 00s and the majority are as followed, in chronological order. J&SB aren't necessarily the main characters in each of the following films, however, they do star in every film.

All the films below were written and directed by Kevin Smith; genius, I know.

CLERKS

Bronte's Rating: 8.6/10

Genre: Comedy

Release Year: 1994

Also Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson and Marilyn Ghigliotti

J&SB Screen Time: Low/Moderate

Plot: The film follows the life of counter clerk Dante Hicks including hockey on the roof of the store, selling cigarettes to four-year-olds, complicated romance and the two potheads that won't stop dealing outside the front of the store.

Review: It's a very low budget film and one of Kevin Smith's first films but it is still brilliant. It's lighthearted and different, whilst still being amusing. One of the best aspects of the film is it's realness; almost every member of the audience would be able to relate to a character or scene in the film which makes it even funnier and enjoyable.

MALLRATS

Bronte's Rating: 8.6/10

Genre: Comedy, Romance

Release Year: 1995

Also Starring: Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams and Ben Affleck

J&SB Screen Time: Moderate/High

Plot: Two best friends hit the mall to seek solace after being dumped by their girlfriends and end up facing one crazy scenario after another including comic books, extreme munchies and sail boats.

Review: Hilarious. Jay and Silent Bob are at their absolute prime in this film. Despite the plot sounding like a typical American rom-com, it is almost a mick take of all films like it. The humour is simple, original and creative. This must be one of my favourite films of all time, I mean, it's even got Stan Lee in it.

CHASING AMY

Bronte's Rating: 8.3/10

Genre: Drama, Comedy, Romance

Release Year: 1997

Also Starring: Jason Lee, Joey Lauren Adams and Ben Affleck

J&SB Screen Time: Minimal

Plot: Two best friends, Holden and Banky, are comic book artists. They meet a fellow artist, Alyssa, who is a lesbian. Holden falls madly in love with Alyssa which, as you can imagine, presents some difficulties. 

Review: The most serious Jay and Silent Bob film ever produced. It tackles a lot of important social issues as well as self-acceptance issues and is a well produced and overall, beautiful film. It also stars Silent Bob talking more than you will see in any other movie.

DOGMA

Bronte's Rating: 8.2/10

Genre: Comedy

Release Year: 1999

Also Starring: Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Alan Rickman

J&SB Screen Time: Moderate/High

Plot: Two fallen angels intend to reenter heaven. An abortion clinic worker is enlisted by God to stop them, who is blessed with the prophets Jay and Silent Bob to help her along the way. Yep, that's right.

Review: It's certainly an odd film. It combines some of the world's most complicated ideas with two potheads and abortion and it's all a bit confusing as to how the idea of the film came about. However, Kevin Smith being the genius he is, pulled it off and created an unusually hilarious film.

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

Bronte's Rating: 8.7/10

Genre: Comedy

Release Year: 2001

Also Starring: Chris Rock, Ben Affleck and Jason Lee

J&SB Screen Time: High

Plot: The comic based on Jay and Silent Bob, Bluntman and Chronic, has been made into a movie and the boys haven't got their cut and are being slandered all over the Internet. They decide to go to Hollywood to try and stop the film from going ahead but things don't go too smoothly.

Review: If you want to watch a hilarious film about two potheads, then this is just the epitome of your perfect film. It is the first film that focuses on J&SB and shows the immense crudeness of Jay whilst showing a deeper side to him as well. A film full of laughs from beginning to end.

CLERKS II

Bronte's Rating: 8.4/10

Genre: Comedy

Release Year: 2006

Also Starring: Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson and Rosario Dawson 

J&SB Screen Time: Moderate/High

Plot: Dante and Randall are back but this time, they're working at Mooby's; a fictional American fast food chain. Randall is still the same immature, care free guy but Dante is trying to settle down and get a fresh start and a new life.

Review: A real heart-warmer. Not only does it bring Dante, Randall, Jay and Silent Bob closer together, it also brings back to old love felt in the original Clerks. It's funny and a bit awkward at times but overall, a classic Jay and Silent Bob film.

If you actually read this far, well done. If you're skipping to this part after skimming over the above, you're a cheater. Yet, I know reading can be a lot of effort for many people today, so to accurately sum up pretty much every Jay and Silent Bob film, here is a clip from the start of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. 

Image sources:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0109445/
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/kevin-smith/images/70798/title/jay-silent-bob-photo
http://sibatmedia.wordpress.com/2011/03/09/mini-review-mallrats/
http://my.spill.com/profiles/blogs/chasing-amy-review
http://www.joblo.com/movie-posters/jay-and-silent-bob-strike-back-02
http://cinefiloeamae.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/o-balconista-clerks-1994-dvdrip.html