Life Lessons Clerks Taught Me

Clerks - one of my favourite films of all time. It's the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob but surprisingly, they're not what makes the film as incredible as it is... for me, it's the beautiful life lessons taught in a blunt yet amusing way.

You want to know what they are? Watch the film.




Just kidding, I wrote that out for you. You're welcome xoxox

Quit blaming everyone for your problems, if you're not happy then do something about it.

Working in retail has a serious downfall; customers.

It's important to appreciate the little things in a relationship.

Your walk defines you as a person.

Sometimes, you have to learn to let go.

You must appreciate DVD stores whilst they're still here.

And finally, it teaches Kevin Smith is one hell of a director.

Film Review H; Horrible Bosses (2011)

Rating: ★★★

"It's relatable; everyone has had a boss at some point that's a total asshole."

Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes
Rating: 18
Release Date: 8 July, 2011
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Jennifer Anniston, Kevin Spacey, Jason Bateman
Director: Seth Gordon
Writers: Michael Markowitz


Plot: Three mates decide to murder their intolerable bosses. Problem is, these three friends aren't exactly cut out for crime.

Review: It's relatable; everyone has had a boss as some point that's a total asshole. It was almost to the point where it frustrated me at the start; seeing how horrible these bosses were to their employees. It wound me up thinking about how it actually happens in real life, so many people are stuck in jobs they hate whilst being degraded and treated like crap by their bosses for a rubbish wage.

However, when the lads conspire to get revenge against these unbearable bosses, the film starts to get fun. It's an adventure - and definitely a feel good one. It's definitely a high quality and high budget film, everything is done well. The acting is fantastic, the filming is great, the editing is perfect - it's a really well made film. Comedy just isn't my genre, and despite the storyline being entertaining, it wasn't amazing.

Horrible Bosses was a good laugh with a few surprises, a couple of twists and turns. All in all is was a pretty good film, the plot is definitely something I bet almost everyone can relate to from some point in their lives.

Still not sure whether you could relate to this film? Well just ask yourselves these questions.

If the answer to any of the above is yes, this film could show your potential revenge.

DISCLAIMER: I do not recommend killing your boss...

Unless you don't get caught.

Cats in Costumes

One Step Bronte has been a little film heavy recently so I thought I'd shake it up with something light, simple and enjoyable. Pictures of cats.

This could be the first of a range of blog posts about cats, or it could be a one off, but let's just all enjoy it... I present, Cats in Costumes.

1. Bat Cat

2. Super Cat

3. Hello Kitty Cat

4. Dapper Cat

5. Acid Cats 

(this one's for you Frank)

6. Big Cat

7. Lobster Cat

8. Bumblebee Cat

9. Pirate Cat

10. Bunny Cat

11. Suave Cat(s)

12. Cool Cat

Film Review G; Gravity (2013)

Rating: ★★★

"A journey not only through space but through the mind."

Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
Rating: 12A
Release Date: 4 October, 2013
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Starring: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney
Director: Alfonso Cuarón
Writers: Alfonso Cuarón

Plot: Two astronauts are left adrift in space after their space shuttle is destroyed.

Review: When I saw the trailer to this film, I thought it'd make a great film - if the film was only 15 minutes long. I had no idea how a film about someone being lost, floating in space could last for an entire hour and a half, especially when it's a serious film with no aliens or super powers or anything. Here is that trailer.

After watching it, I realise this is because the film is less about Stone's (Bullock) journey in space, but more about her emotional journey and the struggle to continue. The film focuses mainly on one person who has been cut off from contact with anyone else, so the pressure was really on Bullock as an actress, and I think she did really well. A tear was even brought to my eye at one point. I was really tired and midway through a nine hour flight though, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind.

One thing that is utterly amazing about the film is that (obviously), it wasn't filmed in space yet 99% of the film is shown in space. Honestly, it's revolutionary CGI, it looks like it is really in space. In every scene, it is not only totally believable, but also beautiful.

For me, the fantastic technicalities of the film like the acting and the CGI, couldn't make up for the somewhat uneventful story line and for that reason, this film gets three stars.

I feel like a judge on The Voice after writing that line.

Film Review F; The Fifth Element (1997)

Rating: ★★★★

"This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships."

Running Time: 2 hours 6 minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: 9 May, 1997
Genre: Sci-fi
Starring: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Chris Tucker, Gary Oldman
Director: Luc Besson
Writers: Luc Besson
Yeah, that Luc Besson is the same guy that wrote and directed one of the most highly rated films of all time; Léon: The Professional.

Plot: Fast forward to the twenty third century; a bad ass taxi driver finds himself trying to save the world against an evil that comes to Earth every 5,000 years to destroy life.

Review: Surprisingly, I loved this film. It is never something I would usually watch as I HATE sci-fi. Almost as much as I hate rom-com. I mean, I can't really remember seeing any sci-fi I really enjoyed - I mean Star Trek, Star Wars and Doctor Who; all of them boring and somewhat annoying, at least in my opinion.

So what made it stand out against all the other sci-fi films? It has everything needed in order to enthral the audience. I like to watch a believable (or almost believable) films and despite the presence of weird aliens and odd species, the characters were real enough to believe their personalities (with a touch of imagination). I feel it is important to make the viewer feel like they're in the film, watching the events happen in front of them - rather just being sat in a cinema or lying in bed, and this film does it.

I also love the storyline. Luc Besson managed to combined action, comedy, sci-fi and romance all into one film so there is something for every viewer but in a structured way so it actually works.

The whole film is based around there being five elements; fire, water, Earth, wind and love. I think this is the perfect way to look at life. Luc was really clever in the character development, making each character embody a certain quality, or 'element'. Dallas represents strength, Leeloo represents love, Zorg is evil, Father Cornelius is religion...

This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships.

BRUCE WILLIS A.K.A BAD ASS

As you may well know, Willis is well known as one of cinemas most beloved bad asses. Here are some of his most popular films.

Film Review E; Eraser (1996)

Rating: ★★

"The only thing that made this film good was how comically awful it was."

Running Time: 1 hour 55 minutes
Rating: 15
Release Date: 11 June, 1996
Genre: Action, Thriller
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vanessa Williams, James Caan
Director: Charles Russell
Writers: Tony Puryear, Walon Green

Plot: An employee at a company that manufacturer top-secret weapons finds out a huge military secret and now it's up to good old Arnie to keep her safe - even from those meant to protect her.



Review: It's just so awful. Seriously. The only thing that made this film good was how comically awful it was. Everything was below par.

The storyline is one that anyone who has watched an action film could basically write. There is a little twist in there, a bit of conspiracy, even a bit of 'could there be, could there not be' romance. However, nothing that stood out in any way. I mean, it was amusing but not for the right reasons. The over the top and awkwardly bad acting were laughable - I'm sure even if the actor/actresses watch the film back they'd have to cringe.

Schwarzenegger's character is entirely what you'd expect of him. Complete indestructible hero. In fact, at one point (despite being an ordinary man), a grenade filled with nails explodes and a long nail goes straight through his hand - which he then pulls out and his hand, and it heals instantly. I hear he's now called Arnold 'Jesus' Schwarzenegger.


Now continuity errors are more regular in this film than displays of talented acting so let's have a look at the...

GOOFS

• The back window of the van repairs itself after it is shot out.
• Arnie drinks almost a full bottle of water on the plane, yet when the bottle later falls over it's almost half full.
• Arnie's arm sling changes from side to side towards the end of the film.
• Johnny C takes his vest off but within seconds, it's miraculously back on again.
• Lee's mini-cam switches sides as she's walking down the hall.

Film Review D; Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Rating: ★★★★

Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes
Rating: U
Release Date: 28 June, 2013
Genre: Comedy, Family
Starring: Steve Carell, Russell Brand, Steve Coogan
Director: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud
Writers: Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio

Plot: Retired super villian Gru is unwillingly recruited by the Anti-Villian legaue to put a stop to a new criminal on the circuit, meeting some new characters along the way.

Review: An ultimate feel good song from start to finish. I had no idea Steve Carell was the voice of Gru - I don't really like him or many of the characters he plays but I fell in love with Gru. Who doesn't love an evil villain turned loving and comedic father?

The big question on everyone's mind is; is it as good as the first one? Well, in my opinion, no, unfortunately not. It is really good and funny; everything you'd expect it to be. The story line is light and simple yet still engaging enough to keep you interested throughout the entire film. However, the first Despicable Me was new and exciting - it was the first time we saw the minions and were introduced to the huge personality of Gru and the kids, Margo, Agnes and Edith.

Don't get me wrong, the characters are equally as good if not better in the second film. The personality and individuality of each minion is built upon which is amazing. Personalities are really developed and it was really enjoyable to watch, even if there wasn't much depth to it. Overall, definitely worth a watch to pick you up!

Watch out for the next Despicable Me film in 2015 - The Minions!

Here's a little gem from an NBA game I went to last night. An usher dancing to the main song of the soundtrack; Happy by Pharrell Williams