How To Get A Job

Regardless of what every one on Jeremy Kyle says, there are ALWAYS jobs available. They might not be the best jobs in the world but I can guarantee you in every town or city there will be at least one job available to someone willing to do it. All there is is the matter of actually getting it.

First of all, you've got to get decent CV.

Above are examples of some CVs I have used previously for a range of jobs and work experience - feel free to use them as templates!

Don't think you have to have one universal CV - you can amend it dependant on what job you're applying for. For instance, I have three CVs. One that I use for anything creative or media based, one that I use for waitressing and bar jobs and another that I use for retail/selling.

It's not about lying, it's about telling your potential employer what you have done that suits this job. If you're applying for a job as a receptionist at a dentistry practice, they're going to be more interested in the admin work experience you did at school then the Saturday job you had as a babysitter.

I've always been told I'm bad at analogies, I think I've just realised why...


You've got to exude confidence
Take note from one of my favourite fictional television characters - Leonard.

The bottom line is, if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect an employer too? Walk up into that interview like 'YEAH, I deserve this job, I want this job and I can do this job'. That's what like they to see.

Never doubt yourself.

Obviously, there are some limitations; don't apply for a job as a professor at a university if you've only got 5 GCSEs and then wonder why you didn't get a call back.

BUT, there are many jobs of all levels on the market if you look thoroughly.

You've got to be persistent
Don't get disheartened if you don't get a job, just keep trying.

If I apply for jobs, I'll apply to maybe 20-30 at a time, get a call back or an interview for around 5 and then get offered something like 2. I don't focus on the 28 jobs I didn't get, I rejoice at the fact five companies read my CV and thought I was worth talking to and even those two who liked me that much they offered me a job.

I know it's cliché, but if it doesn't happen, maybe it wasn't meant to be.

Just APPLY, APPLY, APPLY. There are very few unemployable people. Some of the world's worst people had great jobs. You just have to look at Nick Clegg.

You've got to know where to look 
One of the biggest troubles is actually getting started. How do you know where to find a job? Google is wicked but doesn't always bring the most helpful things up.

Well, here are a few sources to get you started:

• Your local newspaper - either in the physical paper or online. I got my current job through an advertisement on the Leicester Mercury website, and it's amazing

• Adverts in shop windows - walk around your town or city and make a little note

• Store/Restaurant websites - know where you'd like a job? Companies usually advertise jobs on their own website, check the website for local vacancies

• Agencies - there's usually agency offices in most cities, go in and see what they have to offer

• Online job search engines - such as indeed.co.uk, reed.co.uk, totaljobs.com and jobsite.co.uk

• Word of mouth - if you have little to no experience, it's good to talk to family and friends to see if they know anyone employing then they may be able to put a good word in for you

I've had numerous jobs in almost every sector; retail, hospitality, office work - and it's not like I'm amazingly qualified or really good at any of the above things. Just follow my four step plan and with a bit of luck, you'll land yourself a job.

Good luck :)

Cats in Adverts

So it looks like the Cats blog post was not a one off but part of the Cats Collection. TRADEMARK COPYRIGHT BRONTE DAWSON ONE STEP BRONTE IDST XOXO

This week I bring you Cats in Adverts.

1. The McVitie Kitty
See what I did there?

2. The Three Cat
I'd like to point out that this cat is actually named Bronte. Yeah, Bronte. That's my name too.

3. The Smarties Cat
Blue is back.

4. The Crusha Cats
My beautiful milkshakey kitties.

5. The Keyboard Cat
Well, I can safely say this cat is more talented than I am.

Tetrapharmakos

I was a wandering across the internet and I came across this little philosophical gem. Tetraphramakos, known as the 'four part cure', is an idea by Greek philosopher Epricus. It's is essentially the philosophy of living the happiest possible life.

Life can be super hard sometimes, and seem overwhelming - but there is always an answer or a solution.

This is a simple four step philosophy to living the happiest possible life. Think about it.

Don't fear god,

Don't worry about death;

What is good is easy to get, and

What is terrible is easy to endure

or as it was originally in Greek

Ἄφοβον ὁ θεός,

ἀνύποπτον ὁ θάνατος

καὶ τἀγαθὸν μὲν εὔκτητον,

τὸ δὲ δεινὸν εὐεκκαρτέρητον

Life Lessons Clerks Taught Me

Clerks - one of my favourite films of all time. It's the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob but surprisingly, they're not what makes the film as incredible as it is... for me, it's the beautiful life lessons taught in a blunt yet amusing way.

You want to know what they are? Watch the film.




Just kidding, I wrote that out for you. You're welcome xoxox

Quit blaming everyone for your problems, if you're not happy then do something about it.

Working in retail has a serious downfall; customers.

It's important to appreciate the little things in a relationship.

Your walk defines you as a person.

Sometimes, you have to learn to let go.

You must appreciate DVD stores whilst they're still here.

And finally, it teaches Kevin Smith is one hell of a director.

Film Review H; Horrible Bosses (2011)

Rating: ★★★

"It's relatable; everyone has had a boss at some point that's a total asshole."

Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes
Rating: 18
Release Date: 8 July, 2011
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Jennifer Anniston, Kevin Spacey, Jason Bateman
Director: Seth Gordon
Writers: Michael Markowitz


Plot: Three mates decide to murder their intolerable bosses. Problem is, these three friends aren't exactly cut out for crime.

Review: It's relatable; everyone has had a boss as some point that's a total asshole. It was almost to the point where it frustrated me at the start; seeing how horrible these bosses were to their employees. It wound me up thinking about how it actually happens in real life, so many people are stuck in jobs they hate whilst being degraded and treated like crap by their bosses for a rubbish wage.

However, when the lads conspire to get revenge against these unbearable bosses, the film starts to get fun. It's an adventure - and definitely a feel good one. It's definitely a high quality and high budget film, everything is done well. The acting is fantastic, the filming is great, the editing is perfect - it's a really well made film. Comedy just isn't my genre, and despite the storyline being entertaining, it wasn't amazing.

Horrible Bosses was a good laugh with a few surprises, a couple of twists and turns. All in all is was a pretty good film, the plot is definitely something I bet almost everyone can relate to from some point in their lives.

Still not sure whether you could relate to this film? Well just ask yourselves these questions.

If the answer to any of the above is yes, this film could show your potential revenge.

DISCLAIMER: I do not recommend killing your boss...

Unless you don't get caught.

Cats in Costumes

One Step Bronte has been a little film heavy recently so I thought I'd shake it up with something light, simple and enjoyable. Pictures of cats.

This could be the first of a range of blog posts about cats, or it could be a one off, but let's just all enjoy it... I present, Cats in Costumes.

1. Bat Cat

2. Super Cat

3. Hello Kitty Cat

4. Dapper Cat

5. Acid Cats 

(this one's for you Frank)

6. Big Cat

7. Lobster Cat

8. Bumblebee Cat

9. Pirate Cat

10. Bunny Cat

11. Suave Cat(s)

12. Cool Cat

Film Review G; Gravity (2013)

Rating: ★★★

"A journey not only through space but through the mind."

Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
Rating: 12A
Release Date: 4 October, 2013
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Starring: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney
Director: Alfonso Cuarón
Writers: Alfonso Cuarón

Plot: Two astronauts are left adrift in space after their space shuttle is destroyed.

Review: When I saw the trailer to this film, I thought it'd make a great film - if the film was only 15 minutes long. I had no idea how a film about someone being lost, floating in space could last for an entire hour and a half, especially when it's a serious film with no aliens or super powers or anything. Here is that trailer.

After watching it, I realise this is because the film is less about Stone's (Bullock) journey in space, but more about her emotional journey and the struggle to continue. The film focuses mainly on one person who has been cut off from contact with anyone else, so the pressure was really on Bullock as an actress, and I think she did really well. A tear was even brought to my eye at one point. I was really tired and midway through a nine hour flight though, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind.

One thing that is utterly amazing about the film is that (obviously), it wasn't filmed in space yet 99% of the film is shown in space. Honestly, it's revolutionary CGI, it looks like it is really in space. In every scene, it is not only totally believable, but also beautiful.

For me, the fantastic technicalities of the film like the acting and the CGI, couldn't make up for the somewhat uneventful story line and for that reason, this film gets three stars.

I feel like a judge on The Voice after writing that line.

Film Review F; The Fifth Element (1997)

Rating: ★★★★

"This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships."

Running Time: 2 hours 6 minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: 9 May, 1997
Genre: Sci-fi
Starring: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Chris Tucker, Gary Oldman
Director: Luc Besson
Writers: Luc Besson
Yeah, that Luc Besson is the same guy that wrote and directed one of the most highly rated films of all time; Léon: The Professional.

Plot: Fast forward to the twenty third century; a bad ass taxi driver finds himself trying to save the world against an evil that comes to Earth every 5,000 years to destroy life.

Review: Surprisingly, I loved this film. It is never something I would usually watch as I HATE sci-fi. Almost as much as I hate rom-com. I mean, I can't really remember seeing any sci-fi I really enjoyed - I mean Star Trek, Star Wars and Doctor Who; all of them boring and somewhat annoying, at least in my opinion.

So what made it stand out against all the other sci-fi films? It has everything needed in order to enthral the audience. I like to watch a believable (or almost believable) films and despite the presence of weird aliens and odd species, the characters were real enough to believe their personalities (with a touch of imagination). I feel it is important to make the viewer feel like they're in the film, watching the events happen in front of them - rather just being sat in a cinema or lying in bed, and this film does it.

I also love the storyline. Luc Besson managed to combined action, comedy, sci-fi and romance all into one film so there is something for every viewer but in a structured way so it actually works.

The whole film is based around there being five elements; fire, water, Earth, wind and love. I think this is the perfect way to look at life. Luc was really clever in the character development, making each character embody a certain quality, or 'element'. Dallas represents strength, Leeloo represents love, Zorg is evil, Father Cornelius is religion...

This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships.

BRUCE WILLIS A.K.A BAD ASS

As you may well know, Willis is well known as one of cinemas most beloved bad asses. Here are some of his most popular films.

Film Review E; Eraser (1996)

Rating: ★★

"The only thing that made this film good was how comically awful it was."

Running Time: 1 hour 55 minutes
Rating: 15
Release Date: 11 June, 1996
Genre: Action, Thriller
Starring: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vanessa Williams, James Caan
Director: Charles Russell
Writers: Tony Puryear, Walon Green

Plot: An employee at a company that manufacturer top-secret weapons finds out a huge military secret and now it's up to good old Arnie to keep her safe - even from those meant to protect her.



Review: It's just so awful. Seriously. The only thing that made this film good was how comically awful it was. Everything was below par.

The storyline is one that anyone who has watched an action film could basically write. There is a little twist in there, a bit of conspiracy, even a bit of 'could there be, could there not be' romance. However, nothing that stood out in any way. I mean, it was amusing but not for the right reasons. The over the top and awkwardly bad acting were laughable - I'm sure even if the actor/actresses watch the film back they'd have to cringe.

Schwarzenegger's character is entirely what you'd expect of him. Complete indestructible hero. In fact, at one point (despite being an ordinary man), a grenade filled with nails explodes and a long nail goes straight through his hand - which he then pulls out and his hand, and it heals instantly. I hear he's now called Arnold 'Jesus' Schwarzenegger.


Now continuity errors are more regular in this film than displays of talented acting so let's have a look at the...

GOOFS

• The back window of the van repairs itself after it is shot out.
• Arnie drinks almost a full bottle of water on the plane, yet when the bottle later falls over it's almost half full.
• Arnie's arm sling changes from side to side towards the end of the film.
• Johnny C takes his vest off but within seconds, it's miraculously back on again.
• Lee's mini-cam switches sides as she's walking down the hall.

Film Review D; Despicable Me 2 (2013)

Rating: ★★★★

Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes
Rating: U
Release Date: 28 June, 2013
Genre: Comedy, Family
Starring: Steve Carell, Russell Brand, Steve Coogan
Director: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud
Writers: Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio

Plot: Retired super villian Gru is unwillingly recruited by the Anti-Villian legaue to put a stop to a new criminal on the circuit, meeting some new characters along the way.

Review: An ultimate feel good song from start to finish. I had no idea Steve Carell was the voice of Gru - I don't really like him or many of the characters he plays but I fell in love with Gru. Who doesn't love an evil villain turned loving and comedic father?

The big question on everyone's mind is; is it as good as the first one? Well, in my opinion, no, unfortunately not. It is really good and funny; everything you'd expect it to be. The story line is light and simple yet still engaging enough to keep you interested throughout the entire film. However, the first Despicable Me was new and exciting - it was the first time we saw the minions and were introduced to the huge personality of Gru and the kids, Margo, Agnes and Edith.

Don't get me wrong, the characters are equally as good if not better in the second film. The personality and individuality of each minion is built upon which is amazing. Personalities are really developed and it was really enjoyable to watch, even if there wasn't much depth to it. Overall, definitely worth a watch to pick you up!

Watch out for the next Despicable Me film in 2015 - The Minions!

Here's a little gem from an NBA game I went to last night. An usher dancing to the main song of the soundtrack; Happy by Pharrell Williams

Film Review C; Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)

Rating: ★★★★

Running Time: 1 hour 55 minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: 15 July, 2005
Genre: Comedy, Family
Starring: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Freddie Highmore
Director: Tim Burton
Writers: Roald Dahl, John August

Plot: A young boy gets a chance for his dreams to come true as he visits the world's best chocolate factory run by fantastically eccentric chocolatier, Willy Wonka. It is one adventure no one could prepare for.

Review: I absolutely loved it. Right from the beginning, I was entranced by the mystical and enchanting acting and setting. It took me away to a fairytale, and although it is so far from my own reality, it felt like I was in it.

The CGI used in this film really made it for me. There is a lot of discussion about which it better, the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) or the remake. Although both are really good for difference reasons, the remake wins it for me. It's so tight - the soundtrack, the CGI, the acting; it all works together perfectly.

The quirkiness of Johnny Depp's acting, the dark and twisted fantasies of Tim Burton's directing and the classic Roald Dahl humour combined creates a film that has odd eccentricities whilst still being good family fun for all ages. In my opinion, it was one of the most enjoyable films of it's kind of the past ten years.

TRIVIA TIME

Forty squirrels were ACTUALLY TRAINED for one scene.

Loads of the sweets, including the lollipops on the trees, were real.

Four of the five songs in the film were written by Roald Dahl himself.

Nearly 2,000 chocolate bars were provided for the making of the film by Nestlé.

It took almost six months to build the boat - so it could actually float on chocolate.

The river of chocolate was filled with over 200,000 gallons of fake chocolate.

Film Review B; BASEketball (1998)

Rating: ★★★

Running Time: 1 hour 43 minutes
Rating: 18
Release Date: 31 July, 1998
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Trey Parker, Matt Stone
Director: David Zucker
Writers: David Zucker, Robert LoCash, Lewis Friedman, Jeff Wright

Plot: Best friends, Coop and Doug, create a new sport that takes America by storm. These two bums turned pro athletes then have to protect the game from a money-grabbing millionaire who wants the power, dollar and fame for himself.

Before we get started, for those that don't know, Trey Parker and Matt Stone are the masterminds behind South Park.

Review: This film combines the perfect amount of South Park low class and tongue in cheek humour for an all round, half decent comedy. The entire film is basically based on an idea that you and your mates could come up with as a joke but then somehow got turned into a film... a lot of people don't like this, but I think it works. It's as if everyone involves knows it's terrible yet manage to play on that fact with purposefully bad acting and awful props alongside many cringe worthy jokes to make an enjoyable comedy film. Probably worth a watch, if you're into the likes of Team America and South Park.

Did you know?

BASEketball is a game that actually exists. The entire movie is based on a game the director, David Zucker, and his friends made up on his driveway. Believable.

The word 'dude' is said 98 times throughout the film.

Chris Farley, from the classic 90s film Wayne's World, was originally offered the role of Coop. When he turned it down, Trey Parker and Matt Stone were offered the role and changed the entire script to suit their comedic style.

The South Park Kenny is actually in this film... but as Kenny 'Squeak' Scolari.

Reasons why The Wolf of Wall Street is one of the best films ever

Based on the true story of wealthy and borderline insane stockbroker Jordan Belfort, this film has an amazing storyline and is incredibly well produced. It has easily made it's way into my top five films of all time.... and this is why.

1. Because it produces tweets like this

2. The actors ACTUALLY snorted powder in the cocaine taking scenes. Even it was just crushed vitamin B tablets...

3. One of the drug scene took 70 takes, just to get ham to stick to Leo's face. They eventually managed to do this by using lube. Dedication to the cause.

4. It combines the talent of all these amazing people.

5. The actual Jordan Belfort coached Leonardo DiCaprio on how to play a crazy, drug-fuelled, sex crazed maniac. Good job Jordan, good job.

6. In the film's opening weekend weekend, it took over 18 million dollars.

7. It has all the elements of classic Scorsese films... 

dancing,

 money,

sex,

and of course, drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

8. Despite only have being released for under two months, The Wolf of Wall Street has already won 17 awards and been nominated for another 53... including five oscars.

9. One of the scenes in the film had to be toned down in order to receive the certificate 18. That's right. Can you imagine what it must have been before hand?

10. The on screen chemistry between Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill is unreal.

11. Any film with this quote in the trailer has to be a pretty, pretty intense film.

"My name is Jordan Belfort. The year I turned 26, I made 49 million dollars, which really pissed me off because it was three shy of a million a week."

12. And finally, because even if you don't like the storyline, you can look at one of the most beautiful women in the world for almost three hours.

Film Review A; Apocalypse Now (1979)

Rating: ★★★★

Running Time: 2 hour 33 minutes
Rating: 15
Release Date: 15 August, 1979
Genre: Drama, War
Starring: Martin Sheen, Harrison Ford, Laurence Fishburne
Director: Francis Coppola
Writers: John Milius, Francis Coppola

Plot: Captain Willard, an army captain and intelligence officer, is given a new and dangerous mission after he has come home from his tour of the Vietnam war. The mission; to assassinate Colonel Walter Kurtz, a man who lost his mind and has set himself up as a God among a tribe in Cambodia. Willard must now endure the terrifying and brutal journey during the height of the Vietnam war in order to find almost unlocatable man for a mission that 'does not exist - nor will it ever exist'.


Review: This film is like an onion, there's lots of layers. Everything combines together to really make this film a piece of artwork. Firstly, it's got so many fantastic actors at the start of their careers. I mean, I had no idea Charlie Sheen had a famous papa, yet I was amazed by his fantastic display of acting skills. Sheen really brings life to the character and makes every trait of Willard's so believable; the trauma he's faced, the cold, broken man he has now become, he's on the edge of insanity... and Sheen shows this in the most subtle ways yet makes it so powerful. Not to mention the rest of the star studded cast; Harrison Ford, Laurence Fishburne, Marlon Brando... fantastic casting for the film.

The next layer to add to the film as the absolutely incredible soundtrack! It's like the soundtrack you'd expect to have in a seventies sci-fi and horror film. The music seems almost out of place and makes a real statement, rather than being subtle in the background. This adds to how out of place the war, fighting and man made machinery is in the depth of nature and the jungle.

The storyline is absolutely brilliant. The film is three hours long and it definitely felt three hours long. However, the storyline is intriguing enough to keep it's audience enticed throughout the entire thing. There is depth to a lot of the characters allowing you to either take them at face value or read more into them. Apocalypse Now allows to viewer to make the decision to passively or actively watch it - and either way is enjoyable.

Overall, it's pretty, pretty good. It's a long one meant for Sunday afternoons and a definite must see.