Coming of Age

By Gracie May Bawden

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Growth. The journey of life. Coming of age. Call it what you want; it isn’t easy.  It isn’t easy for anyone, though it doesn’t feel like that when you’re young of course.  Everyone around you feels taller, and less spotty, more flirtatious, more together.  At 19 I think it’s fair to say that most of my coming of age is over, or the hardest parts at least (though I’m sure some of you will disagree).  Looking back, there seems to be only one word that adequately sums up my coming of age and that word is angsty.  Always feeling inadequate and ugly and misunderstood.  You only have to dig through my old notebooks and read my ‘poetry’ to understand that.  I’m sure this is ringing bells for some of you, though not all.  Some people’s adolescence was angry, rebellious, for some it was painfully shy and awkward.  We all have our coming of age stories.

    

And it is for this reason that coming of age stories are so popular.  Every adult or young person out there can relate to them.   For adults it’s a chance to cringe and laugh, and for teens it’s a beacon of hope, a banner waving in the sky with the words ‘You’re not the only one!’ printed in bold.

The first coming of age story I ever fell in love with was Jane Eyre.  Before starting Secondary School, I was both wracked with fear and uncontrollably excited about the concept of what felt like endless possibilities being laid out before me.  Although many would consider it outdated and irrelevant, as a rather plain, shy (and working class) 11 year old, the story of Jane Eyre’s journey from penniless orphaned governess to the wife of a rich and powerful man excited me awfully.  Though of course my ambitions were slightly more modern than marrying into a wealthy family.

Ambition is an important aspect of coming of age.  That big question constantly shoved down your throat: ‘What do you want to do with your life?’ and that even bigger, unspoken question hanging over your head: ‘What sort of person do you want to be?’  And just when you start to make some decisions, your parents seem to disapprove of everything.  Be it dying your hair blue, or choosing to do a degree in Creative Writing.  They just don’t get it.  Your friends however stick by you whatever choices you make.  Especially when you’re young.  When you’re 12 years old your friends will encourage you to do all sorts of stupid shit.  ‘Yeah, wearing two inches of eyeliner is a great idea, why don’t you try cutting your own hair with blunt scissors whilst you’re at it?’  However; in the great words of Gordie LeChance from Stand By Me ‘I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve.  Jesus, does anyone?’  This is a line that has always resonated with me.  As has the whole film.  I discovered it when I was about twelve years old and realised that just like the kids in the film, now was the time to just work shit out.  Without your parents.  Without seeking approval.  And who better to help but the people who were doing the exact same thing-your friends?  Unlike the boys in Stand by Me, my friends and I were not on a journey to find a dead body.  We were hanging out in the emo sections of record shops and drinking cherryade on the beach.

But not everything is quite so happy-go-lucky.  Sometimes having friends isn’t enough.  Sometimes it feels as though you’re falling apart and the world and his cousin are just watching you.  Luckily I never had it as bad as Jim from The Basketball diaries.  The occasional bottle of Morgan’s Spiced was about as low as I stooped, but Jim’s desperation is truly stunning and something I’m sure a lot of those on the brink of adulthood can relate to in some distant way (even if they’re not drug addicts on the cusp of death). But my favourite part of this story is the ending. Recovery. From the disease that is adolescence.  I guess it just goes to show that if Jim can do it, anyone can.

There’s a coming age story for everyone, whether you like a spot of ‘80s angst, or happy-go-lucky indie flicks.  Check out my list of favourites and comment with yours.