Last month I went to America to visit an old friend of mine living in Michigan, Andrew Hill. I stayed for two weeks at his house with his absolutely incredible family and learned a bit about what it was like to be a true American. These are five of the most important lessons I learnt... roughly.
You can have bacon on anything.
As we all know, I'm a huge fan of bacon... and American's love it. And I'm talking the real bacon too, streaky and crispy. It's treated as a snack, like English people would treat peanuts. I had it at least once a day and I had at least a million different varieties. Chocolate covered bacon, desert bacon covered in brown sugar and almonds, bacon and syrup... you name it, it was available. I even went to one diner called Denny's who had a bacon menu including bacon milkshakes and bacon chocolate brownies. Amazing.
You can similarly have butter on anything.
None of this margarine crap, full fat, salted, proper butter. One thing I particularly loved it on was Pop Tarts. I know this sounds strange, and I was disgusted at the idea when I was first offered buttered Pop Tarts but it was so delicious. It takes away the sickliness and add a salty taste, making any tart the best treat in the world. I should have added bacon...
Beer pong is a necessary talent to have.
Why English people don't play beer pong, I'll never know. After going to a paint party (which was insane, shown in the video above), my friend and I went back to his friend's house and I was challenged to a game of beer pong, which shortly became a tournament with everyone in the house. American's take their sports seriously and beer pong should definitely be considered a sport. Learn how to play before you ever travel to America.... seriously.
Archer is incredible.
Imagine a mixture of the television programme American Dad and CSI. That is what Archer is. I watched one episode and was instantly addicted. It is based on a secret agent named Sterling Archer who is basically a dumb ass cartoon version of James Bond working for ICIS with a range of hilariously strange and offensive characters. Since leaving the states, I have in fact seen every episode of every season. Watch it.
Wendy's burgers are better than McDonald's.
I know there are those of you that may read this and think these are traitorous words... I'm sorry, but it's true. I had my fair share of Wendy's and McDonald's there and Wendy's wins hands down any day. Even a junior bacon cheeseburger is bigger than a standard size burger from English McDonald's AND they make the best spicy chicken nuggets I have ever tasted. I got six nuggets for something like $0.79, which is about £0.50. Plus, they definitely know what a large coke really is.
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