Being a university student, I think I have successfully discovered the best ways to procrastinate. In fact, right now I'm meant to be writing a philosophy post, however, I feel this is more important. Let me share my knowledge...
1. Google pointless things. When you have a huge assignment in, it is the perfect time to Google those random things that come into your mind that you have never found the time to research before. For instance, what do llamas look like in sombreros? (Amazing). Does bread go mouldy quicker in the fridge? (Yes). Is there anything Chuck Norris cannot do? (No).
2. Do a cheeky bit of online shopping. It doesn't matter if you have no money in your bank account, you definitely need to do some online shopping. It'll be the perfect way to get you motivated.
3. Start watching an addictive TV series. To save you time, I suggest you start watching Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad or The Walking Dead. When you watch the first episode, you definitely need to watch every episode in every series. Plus, it means by the time you get round to doing your work, you'll be older and therefore wiser.
4. Continuously check the fridge for good food. Just a heads up, it doesn't change and the mouldy onion doesn't get more appetising. Perhaps you shouldn't have spent all your money on alcohol but instead done some food shopping. HA.
5. Start an argument but pretend it's an educational debate. Ah your ex is online, perfect time to discuss the merits of commitment and likelihood of getting sexually transmitted diseases from his new girlfriend, the harlot.
6. Decide you haven't seen your friends in too long and it's probably time for a good night out. Call them all, get them round yours for pre drinks and say you'll be back be 11pm. Maybe 12 at a push. Maybe a week later because you ended up on a booze cruise to Mexico in search of llamas in sombreros.
7. Start a blog. Enough said really.
8. Suddenly realise the importance of family time and call your mum. It is vital that she hears how much work you have so she gives you the much needed sympathy you deserve... and hopefully she'll send you some money to refill the fridge... with booze.
9. Nap, we both know you can't work to your greatest potential if you're tired. Just get into bed, turn the lights off and close your eyes for an hour or seven. You can do your work afterwards.
10. Have an emotional breakdown. This is at the bottom of the list because it's least preferable but almost a certainty to happen for any university student. It will, however, take up a good couple of weeks; a perfect way to put off your dissertation.
You're welcome.
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